Monday, 23 May 2011

Actors Against Gravity - Oscar Nominees Diagnosed

A disturbing discovery was made this week as literally tens of movie posters were put under the glare of the anti-gravity spotlight. At first the promotional posters for the 1994 romantic comedy Only You may seem like they have managed to escape the usual pitfall of the two leads leaning upon one another. The movie, which went under the radar for many despite critics lauding it as "easily forgettable", sees Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey Jr playing around with ouija boards and carnival fortune tellers in the search for a disgustingly happy ending.

However, further research into the promotional material of the film has shown a VHS cover (although no one is believed to have bought the film on video) displaying one of the most horrendous cases of excess gravity yet.

The corner of the poster highlighting the 45 degree angle whilst the muted smile that straddles Downey Jr's smug visage hides his pain at his inability to balance.

It is a worrying indication of the widespread issue that faces actors today. Both Tomei and Downey Jr have been Oscar nominees in the past which suggests a great inner strength to overcome their difficulties with equilibrium in their profession. Nevertheless these are only minor victories and they are two more high profile names to join the list alongside Carell, Bullock, Affleck, Zeta Jones, Roberts, Hudson, Grant, Russo, Kevin Costner, Richard Gere and Matthew McConaughey (who is now believed to be living at a permanent 30 degree angle). What kind of life awaits these stars of today?

Who will help these veritable treasures of modern culture who struggle so severely to find gravity in their performances? You can! And we all can by spreading awareness of their plight.

Join us on twitter @gravityvictims to keep up with breaking news in this on going struggle.

Together we can overcome gravity!

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